Paynes Creek

To bring anything into your life, imagine that it's already there. 

~ Richard Bach

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A Year in Moments

(A year in moments)

As every year is this one has been filled with wild places and moments.. adventures and quiets spaces.. children becoming adults, the loss of my grandmother, and the reality that my parents are not immortal.  I took up mountain biking, took a new job, discovered more about myself and my needs, and learned to set boundaries and expectations as I move through this profound opportunity called living.  I crawled my way out of a deep depression day by day with the help of my husband and my family.  Thankfully, I feel more whole than I have in years. I let go of being for anyone else other than myself and found deep connection to life in loneliness and silence. I see the seasons echo themselves in my life, my love, and the way my needs speak to me.  I feel a passion for the creativity and self I laid down to fufill the expectations others had of me.  I am not looking forward to 2018 with intentions, resolutions, or desires. I am content to let things continue to unfold as it does.. Now is all I have... Moments, Family, and endless love.. That’s enough for me. 

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Yesterday

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

~ Lao Tzu

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Remembering

A true warrior is never at war with the world.

~ Chogyam Trungpa

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Resiliency

Resilience: The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties..

These last few weeks have been trying to say the least.  We are all okay, but damn..  Every where I turn something requires my heartfelt attention.  I am grateful to have such love and the capacity for such love that I want to give it and do so easily.  I come back again and again to stores of strength I forget I have until I need them.  The one place I am struggling to give the attention due is to myself as I know it will come in time - right now, I am wondering when..  I am going to be honest folks and say I am tired.  I am worn slap out.  I need a break.. I am not depressed.  I am not sad.  And I am not lonely or longing for anything other than some span of time that I can call my own.. I am oddly content even in the midst of the chaos of living.. And, we have been in the thick sticky of life.  If you see me or think of me.. or see us or think of us.. send a little extra squeeze or well wishes on this glorious fall breeze.  For now, I'm going to zip up my hoodie and enjoy the setting sun.

 

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