(Youth) This is a young forest. I am older than many of these trees and I too am still quite young. The pines are beginning to fall to make light for the young hardwoods who are ready for the next stretch of forest growth. Soon, they will all be reds, oranges, yellows, and pinks. And with each breeze that passes through a few more will fall to the forest floor.
Tryon, North Carolina
I have sat on many a creek and though many of the same plants grow on their banks; and though many of the rocks look the same; and though the bird song sounds familiar each creek flows and feels different.
They all have a story only they can tell.
Day 365
It is difficult for me to believe I have arrived at this moment. This day. In my mind it is incomprehensible to me that 365 days have flashed by me. There are have been so many moments of profound beauty. There have been so many moments that are indescribable and the photos I share with you all don't do the connection - the relationship - the justice it deserves.
So, what do I share? How do I tell you what this has meant in my life and what will I do going forward?
Going forward is easy, I will continue - every single day - because it helps me be the person I want to be. It keeps me connected to my personal power source and the source of all. The lessons are immeasurable and they have been worth every moment I give to them.
Not every moment has been easy. Not every day a cake walk in the light. Most days I have to make the time to make it happen and in a busy life filled with work, kids, and everything else life has thrown my way I have had to make myself many days go outside for even five minutes which turned into hours many times.
The return was ALWAYS worth it.
There has been rain, rain, rain, and more rain. Not only from the sky, but from my eyes as it washed away pain and grief. Rain that seemed like it would never come to an end and yet it does with glorious blue skies and canopies filled with beautiful bird song. Rain that brought a garden to life in the spring.
Trees have fallen and seedlings have emerged. Coyotes and deer have passed me by unknowingly. Raccoons and chipmunks have become dear familiar friends.
I have seen earth fall into her natural slumber and witnessed her awaken in all her gloriousness.
I have felt the winds from all the directions and seen the destruction they can bring. I have felt the sweetness that same moving air can offer on a hot summer day.
I have watched tender plants emerge from the earth, grow into strong beautiful flowers, offer the nectar of life to bumble bees and butterflies, and then set seed for the year to come.
The birds... of course there are birds. There have been so many birds. I have sat within flocks of birds, watched the cardinals raise their babies, left offerings of food for the wrens, and I have come to know a titmouse who loves baths. I have stood by the wren as she sat upon her precious speckled eggs and observed the sweet budding romance between the mourning doves.
I have traveled to rivers, climbed mountains, laid upon the earth watching the moon rise and the sun set. I have gazed into the heavens to count the stars and looked into the grass to chase down an animal hair.
And, with the changing seasons I have changed. As much as the forest is a part of me I have become a part of it.
I have learned the echo of true stillness and silence and the lessons to be gleaned from being comfortable being alone - or seemingly alone.
This is what my 365 days have been.
These have been some of my moments of connection.
This has been the journey.
Tomorrow, the sun will rise again and I will continue to join the wild things and learn from them.
Lynx Spider
There she was. Hungry. Perfectly still. Almost invisible in the light, entirely camouflaged waiting for her next meal.
'Could she? Would she? be lucky enough to snag a butterfly or bumblebee?
Just like that, unknowingly a bumble bee so intoxicated by the sweet smell of the nectar drifting in the wind arrives aware of nothing else. It buzzes eagerly into its landing so fixated on the nectar that it settles in quickly and extends its straw-like proboscis down into the recesses of the flower and begins tasting the ambrosia of heaven... ahhhhhh
All the while the spider who was just hoping for this very scene to take place eagerly readies herself for the pounce. Taking in all of the bee with her 8 eyes she can just taste him. She can hardly wait, but she knows to not give herself away just yet. Moving ever so slowly the busy bee never sees her.
In one quick move she grabs it, stings it and wrestles it until her venom stills its life. It all happens so fast the bee doesn't even know what's going, but it begins to fight for its life in a struggle to the death. She holds its body tightly with her thorny legs. Instinct has taught her the struggle will not last long. They wrestle until the venom does its silent work and brings death to the bee. With a great show of strength she drags it away to a safe place to dine. Her dinner so easily won today. She affixes it with her silken threads to the underside of this zinnia and proceeds to consume it. She earned her meal fair and square.
Held in this moment is the exquisiteness of a life and death drama being played out under the petals of this pink zinnia. The uncomfortable reality of predator verses prey. Sometimes life wins. Sometimes death wins. Either way in this moment a new story has been woven.
Life and Death. One is not independent of the other. Existence is impossible without both. And both are what makes life a perpetual state of change, release, rest, growth, and expansion. We spiral in. We spiral out. Resistance is futile. It happens every day in every moment. The delicate balance of having an experience in a conscious existence.
When I consider the patience of spiders and their intuitive knack for building their webs or waiting on flowers perfectly still for very long periods of time for their prey I am able to see the grace in the deaths she deals.
Death is change.
Change can be a fierce teacher and we cannot evolve without it. It can be scary, intense, sad, and cruel. It can also be happy, funny, joy filled, and exciting. Change happens and there is no stopping it. How we perceive it is up to us.
