This little patch of earth is the greatest paradox in my life. I long to wander and explore and commune with this precious earth - to see her beauty in all her corners.. to find myself amongst the wild things. Simultaneously I live for the flower season, for vegetable season, for butterflies, hummingbirds.. warblers, nests, spiders, and snakes.. I long for my back to ache from spending time with the plants that grow here and my hands to be rough from the dirt that clings to my pores. I long for the complexity in a silent starlit night and the symphonic satisfaction of cricket song.. The buzz of bumble bees and the yellow of black eyed Susan’s.. I long to bathe in mountain streams and crawl under the mountain laurel smelling the moss and damp earth.. and watch my little plants grow to become food for my family and medicine for my soul. My nature is both nurturer and individual - wanderer and hermit.. seeker and finder.. lost and found.. settled and restless.. I am all all the emotions and all the labels. I do not fit in a box nor do I fit in a circle..
Who is who?
All of my childhood I wanted a bullfrog friend. My mom brought me tadpoles two years that yielded the bullfrog I call Leo. This year, there are three bullfrogs in my small pond. Two are always together and this one is always alone. I no longer know who is who. Last year I could tell them apart due to size. This year, they all look the same. I love having them as neighbors.
Whew
Wind scares me. Living under trees - mostly pine and sweetgum - I think about them falling, bending, breaking over my worldly things. I worry about the strain and stress that will come when the wind has blown one time in just the right way and the damage it will leave behind. I worry. I am a worrier. And the wind really makes me worry. Walking around and seeing the debris and the small insignificant amount of time I will spend cleaning up I am grateful to our trees for standing tall in the weather the subtle way they do. I am also aware that we are lucky and will be praying for everyone who has not been as fortunate as we were this time. Wind ushers change - often devastating change. Please support as best you can all the people in all the places that have been touched by wind, fire, rain, flooding, and smoke. Pay attention to the needs we don't easily see and give where you are able to lovingly. This is not a time in our history of being human to be selfish. There is much work to be done - on every level possible.
Youth
(Youth) This is a young forest. I am older than many of these trees and I too am still quite young. The pines are beginning to fall to make light for the young hardwoods who are ready for the next stretch of forest growth. Soon, they will all be reds, oranges, yellows, and pinks. And with each breeze that passes through a few more will fall to the forest floor.
